I am gonna take every opportunity to take more photographs. I just wish I didnt stink to high heaven at it. Sidenote: i wanted a close up picture of a black guy taking a photograph but when i googled black guy with camera I got porn. A lot of it.
It all started with a girl (doesn’t it always?) A friend of mine had hooked me up with someone who he thought would be cool for me to hang out with. Or an easy lay. I forgot which. Anyways, its around 2006-07 or so and we’re chatting in AOL instant messenger (how cool were we?) At this point, she all ready knew I was a maxi-zoom dweebie but luckily we had the same taste in jokes and music. One day she asked me if I watched LOST.
“That Gilligan’s Island meets Twilight Zone crap? Yeah right!”
“YOU!?!? YOU of all people don’t watch LOST!?!”
“Nope.”
I didn’t. It looked stupid. Sounded hokey. And the lead was the guy from Party of Five. And the fat guy is still fat. And they’re probably dead anyway. Don’t need to watch it. But ya know what, somehow, someway, she convinced me to give it a shot. Of course she did. She has a vagina. Vagina convinces me to do things. I believe it was the beginning of the third season. The doctor was on some type of submarine or station called The Hydra. Oooh original. The fake ass Han Solo was locked in a cage with the hot brunette. And the Asian couple was very annoying. I think I lasted a couple of episodes and zoned out eventually. I didn’t see the big deal.
Fast forward a couple of months later at the good ol’ J-O-B. My own personal Eloise Hawking (LOST reference!) had decided I was “unbearable” to work with and switched me to the night shift. What I did to make her life miserable is beyond me. Seriously!! Well anyway, there I was, sitting in a cold, empty lobby (hatch) with a computer and some buttons to push. I started to catch up on my Netflix and read my Chuck Palahniuk ebooks on my laptop to kill time. But then that dried up. Now what? I started picking up on TV shows to watch on youtube like WEEDS, which was cool until season 4. For some odd reason, I decided to give LOST another chance. What’s the worst that could happen, right?
DR JACK Shephard - Excuse me? You ever use a needle?
Kate Austen - I sewed my jeans once.
A plane crash has got to be a harrowing experience. Good thing they had a doctor on board, huh? It reeked of bad writing. The women are hot, the guys look like calvin klein models, and there’s a fucking doctor on board. But I kept watching. Hmmm a bald guy with a scratch across his eye and a distant stare. And creepy music. Probably gonna be a bad guy sooner or later. But I kept watching. The black guy gets to be strapped with his damned kid on the island. And he yells a lot. But I kept watching. Wait, what the hell was that noise in the jungle? I bet you they are dead all ready. But I kept watching. What the fuck!?!? A polar bear!! I think that black kid has some magic powers! Hey, the bald guy used to be in a wheelchair! Holy shit, Jack’s dead is alive! I dont think that was his Dad’s coffin. Who would take a dead body? Unless .. Why is Kate so hot? She seems like trouble though. I know girls like that. I fall for girls like that. Repeatedly. Are those the bones of Adam and Eve in the caves? Are they in Eden? There’s whispering in the jungle. Hmm that’s a weird place for a cable. Mmmmm, sexy jungle woman. Hey a hatch! Wonder what’s inside? 4 8 15 16 23 42 .. I bet that comes up again. How in the hell did a big ass ship wind up in the MIDDLE of the jungle? Holy crap, they kidnapped the black kid! Nobody kidnaps black children!!!
Creator JJ Abrams is smart enough to surround himself with people smarter and geekier than he is. And a sign of good writing is when every character sounds and acts differently. A lot of writers can’t pull that off. Suck on that Joss Wheldon!! JJ looooooooves a good looking cast, but his cast can always act their asses off. ABC spent a shitload of money on this show, and it shows. It took me about a week on the night shift to watch all of season one, ad there was no way I was stopping after all of that madness. I needed answers. Shit, I’ve rewatched the whole series twice all ready and I still have questions.
And that’s how I came to love LOST. A woman. Oh, by the way, we never had sex. I did stick my finger in between her boobs though. But that’s another story for another time.
SUCKER PUNCH directed by Zach Snyder (300, THE WATCHMEN)
Starring: Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie
SUCKER PUNCH directed by Zach Snyder (300, THE WATCHMEN) Starring: Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Carla Gugino, Jon Hamm, Scott Glenn, Oscar Isaac The Plot: “Baby Doll”, trapped in an insane asylum, must gather five mythical elements to escape the evil clutches of the madmen holding her and her friends captive. Seems that sweet little Baby Doll has found herself in some deep doo doo. She has gotten herself in a mental institution and has five days to find five items that will free her and her friends from certain doom. Unfortunately, those items are guarded by dragons, robots, samurais, and all types of crazy shit. Sounded right up my alley when I heard the storyline and saw the trailer. I should’ve known it was too good to be true. First off, the story was all over the place, which it shouldn’t be, because it was too simple for it to be all over the place. There’s a reason why dragons and robots and all of the other stuff exist in the same blue screened universe that the director created, and they explain that in the beginning of the movie. The reason they exist is what I like to call a writer’s cop out. If he had’ve created his own Star Wars galaxy, or Middle Earth, or even a version of the fucking He Man universe for Christ’s sakes, it would’ve been a better movie. Problem number two is that fucking blue screen and slow motion crap. Zach Snyder lives by that shit and its getting on my nerves. Slow motion has been overdone since 1999, which was the year The Matrix dropped. And blue screen is good once in awhile, but try to use it to create a look or a world that would be impossible or too expensive to do by old Hollywood techniques. This guy fucking created a blue screen bus stop. A BUS STOP!?!? Couldn’t find one you liked in THE REAL FUCKING WORLD!?!? Director Zach Snyder’s screenplay could’ve been a lot better, and the dialogue could’ve been as well. I will say that the actors bought into their roles and played their parts well. Wasn’t their fault at all. Doing everything on blue screen means you can create the world you want. Why wasn’t this epic? Why wasn’t it better?
I went to see “Splice” Friday night at Essex Green Mall. Here’s my review. (Sorry. Cant think of a better opening. I’m usually wittier than that. Ok. Maybe I will talk about gene splicing and DNA experiments. I for one, am all for it. How do you think we’re gonna cure diseases? Or make bearhawks?
Adrian Brody and Sarah Polley play two research scientists working under a grant for genetic research. They get the wonderful idea to combine a couple of species with human DNA to make a sexy little hybrid that they name DREN. Naturally, just like all monster experiments, the bitch grows big as hell in a couple of days. This is a sci-fi / horror movie so of course she’s violent as fuck. And sexy. And bad things happen. Very bad things.
This is the from the guy who directed Cube, so you know it’s stylish. I was a little worried when I saw Joel Silver and his Dark Castle Productions logo, but he bought the film after it was made, which means his influence was very little. Thank God. The lady who plays DREN is named Delphine Chanéac, and she did a bang up job on her. Special effects were good, and the lighting and cinematography are smoking. Now, there’s a make it or break it point in the movie where if you like it, you’ll keep on chugging along. But if you don’t like it, it might ruin the rest of the movie for you.
I say, if you wanna torrent or bootleg it, do it. Or pay to see it. But I say get your hands on this movie. You’ll have something to talk about after you do.
i’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND WOMEN. do u guys think the sexes are meant to get along? I mean, we are OBVIOUSLY attracted to each other. Have been since the cavemen days. But I dont think most men really respect women. Most like you know what more than they like the actual whole of a woman. You think we treat you guys bad cuz we dont know better? Sheesh. Some, maybe even most men dont really respect women. Which is a shame cuz u guys rock. Agree? Disagree?
This first post is so i can just link people to the crap that i like. here’s just some of my tastes .. like you care.
greatest “new bands of the last decade” 2000 - 2009
the white stripes - one of my favorite faves
godsmack - “grrrr lets join the armed forces and kick foreign ass” rock
yeah yeah yeahs - i heard their live show kicks ass
slipknot - probably the craziest mainstream devil metal that i like
system of a down - if they can get along to make another album
linkin park - i know, i know but i like them. underrated
a perfect circle - they make pretty death music
gorillaz - for cartoon characters, they are pretty good
coldplay - still describe them as “radiohead for lovers”
the killers - great first album, good singles band the last two album. Enough music to merit seeing them live.
AFI
Three Days Grace
Staind
Maroon 5 - i know, i know .. but i gave their whole album a chance.. i got tired of hearing them on the fresh fm station at work .. and i love it!
i think slipknots first album may have been late 90s .. there are some other bands i am sure i missed.
still rockin from the 90s
these guys wont go away, and THANK GOD
Nine Inch Nails - in my all time faves
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Beck
Radiohead
Green Day
Queens of the Stone Age
Tool
Foo Fighters
Incubus
Weezer
Blink 182
Jane’s Addiction
Rammstein
The Donnas
Alice in Chains
Buckcherry
Stone Temple Pilots
The Deftones
Soundgarden - do they count? i know they just got back together
U2 has survived the 80s .. i will do my 80s and back list later .. and those are my favorite big bands ..
